OK, so my older sister has always been there for me, and even the times when we were beating the crap out of each other I knew she would save me from death if needed. I mean I never really wanted to put my life in her hands, but I would’ve and these days there’s no doubt.
However…
My sister is an I.G.I.W.T.U. (I’ve got it worse than you). Now, this is not to be confused with an I.A.B.T.U. (I am better than you) or an I.H.B.T.T.Y. (I have better things than you). No, this is the person, who no matter the situation will always be more burdened, more stressed, and have more things to deal with at once. Incredibly kind, giving, and sweet — yes. But overly compassionate or empathetic — no.
It’s never been a big deal to me. I still rattle off my litany of complaints and know that unless part of my morning involved holding a school bus of small children up with one hand as it teetered over a cliff ready to fall, it would not top the morning she had. And it’s something I regularly tease her about, so she’s aware of her I.G.I.W.T.U. status.
As a recovering I.K.M.T.Y. (I know more than you) I understand that sometimes these personality traits are hard to get under control. I mean after all, I didn’t have to listen to myself so I didn’t realize how freaking annoying I was. It was only through contact with other I.K.M.T.Y.s that I recognized and reformed my bad habits.
But this is not always the case. In fact sometimes in the face of fellow (whatever acronym applies), the afflicted only gets worse, as they try to top the rest of the crowd, and before you know it you got a whole gang of people trying to outknow, outthing, and outstress each other. Pure madness I tell you.
So instead I’ve joined the W.R. (“wow, realy?) group. This applies to any situation and any possible acronym you can encounter. For example, “So last year for Christmas he got me a diamond necklace. And then for my birthday he took me to Tahiti. And then for Valentine’s Day he bought me a solid gold rose.” Me: “Wow, really?” or “I had to get up at 4 a.m. and scrub the floors. Then I cleaned the entire house, went grocery shopping at four different stores, and cooked for 35 people. And that was just for breakfast.” Me: “Wow, really?”
See? Simple. They can keep on being impressed with themselves and you’ve avoided getting into some crazy competition that could include any number of tall tales. And since it’s only two words, you can be mentally compiling your grocery list the whole time they’re talking. Perfect.
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