A) I hate when people say “bless you” when I sneeze. Because then I have to say “thanks”. But why should I say thanks? They didn’t really bless me. And even if they had the power to do that, why does sneezing warrant any attention from on high (other than the fact that people used to believe your heart stopped when you sneezed)? We don’t say “bless you” when someone burps, or yawns or performs some other involuntary bodily action. Can’t we just let my forceful expulsion of germy mucus mist go without comment? Or at the very least not force the event to result in me saying “thank you”? Imagine if everytime I farted, I turned to the person next to me and said “thanks”.
When Dan and I first started dating, I told him if he was going to insist on saying “bless you” when I sneezed, I would say something equally useless when he did. After months of me saying random words and nonsense phrases after his achoos (”schandenfreud!” “glocken pepper!”), he finally just stopped acknowledging my sneezes.
B) Today Dan watched Pirates of the Caribbean while I wrote. When a character said “Huzzah!” I looked up and asked Dan why we never say huzzah. Our marriage needs more “huzzah” I said.
C) Hours later, I sneeze. Dan (from the other room): Huzzah!
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