After several Cruzan buckets I had myself a genuine ‘moment’ at a bar one night last year when I stormed the corner stage and threatened the house band with irreparable bodily harm if they continued cannibalizing ‘Sweet Home Alabama’.
::: doan cheww deww eht!! :::
However, in my defense, I must confess that it never would have gotten ‘beatdown bad’ because:
1. Mr. Cookie had my back (U )
2. My girl posse had my back and Mr. Cookie’s back (PROPS HO’S!)
3. I’m pretty much a big non-violent pussy (and by that, of course, I mean I’m all talk)
4. I was about 12 seconds from total pass-out when the threat was made (timmmmberrrrr!!!)
Apparently, they do it a little differently in Connecticut.
Some Nutmegger was gettin’ her karaoke on a couple weeks back hit when she hit what had to have been the most viciously, horrendously, most outrageously putrid sour note ever to have made contact with the human ear because her rendition of Juanes’ ‘A Dios le pido’ caused six underaged tricks to completely lose their gat-damn minds and start a heckling showdown that ended with them bitchslapping the ‘talent’ into the next county!
::: And you thought Simon Cowell was harsh! :::
The almost-comical kerfluffle happened at Bobby Valentine’s Sports Gallery Cafe in Stamford when the savage sextet gave an unmistakable ‘Oh no she di‘INT!’ to the performance by shouting insults at the 25-year-old singer – who’s retaliatory ranting met with a not-so-friendly stage-rush that ended with her ass being knocked 50 kinds of all the way down.
::: kaPLOW biotch! :::
After much punching and pulling of hair, the combat was curtailed – leaving the six pack facing assault charges and the victim with bruises and some serious tooth chipification!
Screw New York!
Connecticut’s ROUGH, yo!
ROOOAAAD TRIIIIIP!!!
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