Should Have Referred

*Listening to Death Cab For Cutie – Transatlanticism*

What a horrible, horrible mistake. It was entirely avoidable too. There really was no need for it, handing over a list would have sufficed and I could have enjoyed a stress-free environment watching Swanny and Broad rip into a startled South African batting line-up. But no. I accepted the invitation to go into Norwich and go shopping.

All I needed was a memory card and some rechargeable batteries, but it wasn’t until four hours, a bird-shit stain and a giant snail later (the sister needed it for her school pupils) could I sit down to watch what was barely left of Day Four. A day that effectively won the test. Excellent.

What a stupid decision.

One of the numerous things I pondered whilst walking amongst the geriatric-paced crowds, other than people stop without warning at least three times every four steps, was why there are so many people feeling the need to spend the money they don’t have on things they didn’t need two weeks ago. But since it’s now 5% off, it’s as needed as under-soil heating at The Bescot. The answer escaped, taking with it my patience.

As did the answer to why everybody under the age of about 15 has to look identical. Sure, there are some exceptions, actually nope, there isn’t, merely a few different groups whose members all look the same. Much like the Christmas Day Doctor Who, in fact. Yep I watched it, not by choice mind but it has come in handy.

I also found myself wanting to escape HMV for probably the first time in my existence. Sure you can question the prices, especially when an album from three years ago is more expensive than anything that’s remotely recent, but I’m a sucker for their 2 for £10 CD’s. Remember? I still buy CD’s? But the thing that forced my hurried exit, was the scores of idiots who stand in the middle of the aisle as they look at no CD in particular. Space is scarce at the best of times but this time of year it’s more sought after than a fiver or two at Fratton Park.

Maybe there should be a rota controlling when certainly people can go out. People in a rush are allowed out the same time as people who don’t find the concept of walking so taxing they can’t manage without a break and people who know what they need and exactly where it is. And then Children go at the same time as the people just out for a wander around town and those on a general shop.

Maybe keep the second group in pens so us normals can walk by, tutting past in our orderly-kept space.

[Via http://thefuturesbleak.wordpress.com]

How to write

I was pretty tempted to echo that old thing about, “You know how to whistle, dont you? You just pucker up and….”  but I thought better of it. The subject is a lot more complicated than that.

I’ve read and heard an awful lot about writing and especially how to write and I figured it was time to add my pennyworth. Anything said here is purely my opinion and I offer no facts and figures and statistics. It also needs to be said that I have as much right(or as little) as anyone to offer my opinion on this subject.

I’ve heard a lot about shoulds and gifts and discipline and planning and intuition and inspiration. I’ve heard that if you consider yourself a writer you should write every day even if you don’t want to. I’ve heard that you should plan every detail of your plot before you ever pen the opening lines. I’ve heard that you must honour your gift. I’ve heard of people who determine how many words they produce every day and those who write as much or as little as they feel is right. You can compare and contrast Anthony Trollope who wrote exactly a thousand words every day before his work as a postmaster began with William Golding, whose masterpiece Lord of the Flies was written in a frenzy of creativity in a space of about three days.

Let me say now:  THERE IS NO RIGHT OR WRONG WAY.

THERE IS NO RIGHT OR WRONG WAY.

Got it?

There are as many ways and methods of writing as there are writers. We are each unique. In the course of a writing lifetime, you may try out many ways and be trying new methods till the day you die, or you may try a few, settle on what feels best and stick with it. I’ve tried a lot of things over my long writing career so far and I know that what works best for me can and will change. I generally write fiction in the third person but I have written one novel and a number of short stories in the first.  I do write almost every day, but there are days when all I write are a few emails, and maybe a shopping list. I know that if I make a rule for myself (a thousand words a day, two poems before breakfast..) I will almost immediately sabotage myself and find it impossible to do. It’s the same reason why the only exercise routines that have ever worked for me require me to not make it a matter of rule and why having a dog is the only reason I get fresh air almost every day in winter….

We are complex beings and when it comes to writing, there are no rules. Oh, and if you worry about grammar and spelling, don’t. Your grammar is probably better by far that you imagine; just because you can’t name tenses or tell me what a parenthesis is doesn’t mean you don’t have grammar. You grew up learning grammar as naturally as breathing. If your spelling is rubbish, invest in a good spellchecker or get a friend to look it over. Grammar and spelling are the bricks and mortar of writing and not, to be honest, terribly interesting in themselves or even very useful in writing well. If it really worries you, do a course in English language or buy a few books on grammar so you can check your grammar if you have uncertainties.

To write well is a nebulous thing that is almost impossible to quantify but good writing is often unobtrusive writing. You notice the story and not the elegance of the sentence construction or the choice of adjectives. Like the cut of a good suit, it should draw attention to the body inside it and not the outward appearance that clothes it.

I’m not a fan of experimental writing, because it does seem to be drawing attention to itself and not what it is trying to express. It can be terribly clever but it’s not something I want to read because I read generally for the story. Story is the animal that drives fiction. In simple terms, to write fiction you have to have something to say, and that something is a story. Even if your purpose is ideological (Animal Farm anyone?) the story is the meat of the thing. If you have nothing to say, then say nothing, or wait until you have something to say.

I’m also not a fan of creative writing courses. This is partly an irrational dislike that is linked to my resistance to rules but it’s more than that. I do wonder how many naturally talented people have had their talent warped or crushed by such courses. I’ve heard a few accounts of courses that made me shudder, ones led by people with huge egos and a massive need to put others down. Such people want to make people write like them or the favourite writer of the moment; the students are asked to write in the style of X, Y or Z and are marked on that. For me, a course needs to help people find their own style, by trial and error and not by mimicking others. Of course, one does this to some extent, especially as a teenager, but ultimately every writer needs to find their own voice. So many of the courses seem to do just the opposite. In addition to this, I don’t believe you can teach anyone to write who lacks the basic talents. There are plenty of people who like the thought of being a writer but have no heartfelt understanding of what this actually means;  for those, it means maybe playing with words in an entertaining way.  

Write your way, whatever that is. If that means blank verse only or haikus, or short stories or whatever, fine. If you write best at night, don’t listen to anyone who tells you that the best writing is done in the morning when the day is fresh. If it helps you to have a daily goal of so many words, great, stick with it. If you can only write on a Sunday, then write on a Sunday. If you can’t plan but you can splurge and write ten thousand words at a go and then work out where you go from there, then do that. If you can only begin when you’ve got every freckle and line on your heroine’s face mapped out in triplicate, then go for it.

You are you and I am I. What works for me may not work for you and vice versa. By all means try other things; it’s good for you to experiment and explore but above all, be true to yourself and listen to your own inner voice. If that voice tells you that you can write a novel when you’ve only ever written short stories, listen to it.

Be the writer you want to be and not what other people tell you you should be. Just as your DNA is unique, so too is your writing voice.

Remember:     THERE IS NO RIGHT OR WRONG WAY  

 

[Via http://zenandtheartoftightropewalking.wordpress.com]

Merepek Meraban!

(background music : Brick By Boring Brick by Paramore, Tik Tok by Kei$ha, If It Kills Me by Jason Mraz, Until You’re Mine by Demi Lovato and Crazier by Taylor Swift)

It’s raining heavily outside right now. I’m sitting in the dark, on a couch, infront of TV and trying to write something. But no idea. Until now, what I did was typed two or three sentences, read them, and pressed ‘backspace’ button until those two or three sentences disappeared. I repeated that few times already. I’m really in the mood of blogging, but sadly, I don’t know what to write. So, this entry is going to be quite rubbish. I’m just gonna write about whatever that will cross my mind. Keep reading if you want, but if you dont, please click on the ‘x’ at your top-left. Hehe
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I miss my man. That’s the first thing that I thought just now. I’m texting him right now actually. He’s watching National Geography bout some endangered animals and how to take care of them. Ehh.. Is that right? Erm.. Yeah, I think that is the subject. He’s on his way to diet right now. Well, yeah, he’s been trying to slim down since last few months. He succeed for a while, but then when I was off of that subject for few weeks, he gained more kgs. Haiya.. But now, I think my job is getting easier especially when his mom is forcing him to slim down. From what he told me, he said that his mom was angry because he didn’t take care of his shape. This is the funniest part. Her mom said, ‘Kena la kurus, bini ko kurus. Kalau x nak kurus, nnti Emy lari. Baru tau.’
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Hahahaha. Takde la sampai mcm tu makcik.. I wont leave him, that I can promise. Saya sayang anak makcik sgt2!!!
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Owh, while we are in this topic, I just wanna write something that I’ve been keeping down here in my heart, for quite some time. This slimming down thing, this is what HE wants. Many times, I got asked by certain people, ‘Kalau die x kurus, ko sayang die lgi x?’ To be honest, I totally hate that question. SUPER HATE! Whether they intended or not, it offended me a little. It was like, ‘Do you think I’m that shallow??’, ‘Do you think I dont have a brain on my own that I can’t think properly of what I’m doing?’ That love subject, IT’S SOOO OUT OF QUESTION! Of course I love him no matter what. In fact, I love him so much! But here, be realistic, don’t you want the best for your partner?? I do. This is what HE wants. And I’m helping him. Coz he once told me, if he gets what he targets, he’ll be happy. I want him to be happy. THAT’s what I’m doing.
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And another thing, I want us to  grow old together and stay healthy. So I start to advice him about what should he eat more, and what should he eat less while he’s still young. I don’t think it’s a crime by asking your beloved to live healthier, is it? I’m doing what’s best for us, for our future life,  not for my own sake. Kalau org lain tu, lantak diorg la nk camane.. I don’t care. Even if I do, I don’t have any rights to interfere. Tpi yang ni, si dier yang suh aku jadi dier punyer diatition. So.. Aku mang kena kisah. But ‘kisah’ means concern. Concern means care. And care means love… Apa2 pon, it’s all because of love..
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Change topic!
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Tomorrow, I’m gonna call JPN-S for the details about my posting. Hm.. Most of my friends said that I’m lucky that I got my own state. Yeah, I think so too especially after I didn’t put Selangor as my 1st choice, and I didn’t have ‘big cable’ to help me getting my own state. Yet, I still get it. Alhamdulillah.. That, I was a bit relieved. But still, as I said earlier, Selangor itself is a big state. I could be posted to anywhere, far from home. I hope, I would be posted to one of the schools in Sabak. I’ve been away from home since I was 13. Staying in school hostel for 5 years, then had BTN for 3 months, then studied in KL for 3 years before flying off to Australia for 2 years, then came back to KL for the final year. I think I’m independent enough. Well, scratch that. I mean, not THAT independent, but what I mean here, I know now how to take care of myself. It’s time for me to stay home now, taking care of my parents before I get married and move to somewhere else with my husband.
. I really-really hope that I’ll be posted to Sabak. But if that doesn’t happen, what can I do?
Allah knows the best.

Prepare for the worst, hope for the best.

p/s – Dalam tatau nk tulis ape tu, byk pulak aku tulis.. Haha

[Via http://emywinchester.wordpress.com]

Cloud Watching

Do you know what I love most about the world?

It is the fact that every single day the sky is different. Have you ever just stared into the sky- it is beautiful isn’t it?

Big puffy white clouds, long streaky sideways clouds, light blue, dark blue, even a hint of purple- anything goes. There is something peaceful about cloud watching. Everyday whether it’s my 30 minute drive to work or just a quick walk outside, I always tell myself to look UP! Just take a second maybe more (pause) and look UP! I’m just in awe. And I think you will be too.

I guess it just reminds me again and again to live in the moment. Everything is ever-changing and if I don’t see that sky today- I won’t ever see it because it will be different tomorrow. I think that’s why I like taking photos. Someone can take a picture of the same thing over and over again, but that photo will always be different because of the sky.

[Via http://cozypages.wordpress.com]

Merry Christmas!

Today is December 25th, 2009! And that makes it Christmas! Today was kind of crazy. First of all for the past couple of nights I have had a hard time sleeping and last night I couldn’t really sleep. So I kept sleeping on and off until about 4 in the morning. Then my brother woke up and my parents woke up, so we opened presents! We finished opening our presents and it was 5:15 in the morning, and I was surprised that I was exhausted. I then went back to bed, and still had a hard time. But after taking a quick nap, I felt great. And for Christmas I got an iPod Touch! I was shocked! And I don’t know if people know why people celebrate Christmas, but it is the day Jesus Christ, our savior, was born. Happy Birthday Jesus!

[Via http://jasonngo.wordpress.com]

It's a SLOW Christmas.

As I read my friend, Doby’s blog I realized i should make my own Christmas wishlist.

I have wishlists, separated into categories: 1) affordable, 2) expensive or impractical and 3) mixed irrational wishes.

While writing the affordable list would be good, it wouldn’t be tasty. So i will commence on writing my expensive/impractical wishlist. Mixed irrational wishes are emotional and very private, so I will not share that with anyone. Sometimes, not even to myself.

My Christmas wishlist starts with:

1. JBL Ipod Dock. Compact. Perfect for my bath trips, loud enough to seep through the bathroom door, compact to fit it in the messy room. I should perch it high up in the cabinets though, away from the hands of Belle-a.

2. Ipod charger and ipod cable. Not exactly expensive but impractical just the same since I already have one. Would like to replace them because they are no longer squeaky clean and white as they used to be. Ipod cable starting to show wear (and tear in some places). But I’ve been holding myself back from buying new ones because…I need to buy this first and that first.

3. Digital camera. A new one. This one is one of the cheapest I could find that will do. Although Canon’s cheapest one is also a want in this post. I would want that new Samsung camera with the dual LCD also. Hubby just shrugs me off when I say digicam because we already have two.

4. Flip Video Camcorder. Is this serious? I don’t know if it takes decentvideos though. But I like. It’s actually quite cheap. And videos can be easily uploaded to my laptop. Wee. Holding back because quality might be such a letdown.

5. Ipod Nano. The new one. Please? If not the Flip Video Camcorder, this one would do. This one trumps the Flip Video, yes, but I already have an Ipod, so Flip Video trumps this one on the “list”.

6. Any of these DSLR’s will do. Christmas gift, Ate? Hehe. Would be nice to put “stellar” photos (if I can take one) in this blog.

New laptop bag and sleeves, too. Please.

Thank you very much, Santa. I accept late gifts.

[Via http://maysea.wordpress.com]

Holiday Season

First I would like to wish everyone a Happy Holiday.

It is that time of the year when everyone is rushing to get gifts and presents, when people are supposed to be cheery and bright. This is also the year that I won’t have my sister here to celebrate with. I have been bumming around about it all month and tomorrow reality will hit me when I don’t have her to wake me up and force me out of bed. There is something about christmas that makes everyone a child again. Remembering the days when Santa would sneak in while you were sleeping and give you the presents you deserve. Unfortunately my christmas will be one family member short and it only makes me realize that its time to grow up and face the fact that my sister is moving on. I hate to be the depression Scrooge but the whole situation to me is depressing.

Usually I have christmas presents months in advanced and wrapped soon after so I am not tempted to give them away before christmas. But this year in order to prevent christmas from coming I refused to get gifts to absolutely necessary. It was my first year having to fend with the christmas crowds I didn’t realize how cruel they really could be. Ladies pushing people around drivers racing for the best parking spot. What is so wrong with having to walk a few yards to get to a door. Are the people you are shopping for not worth the effort. No wonder suicide rates go up around this time of year. People are stressed out enough already, now they have strangers yelling at them and treating them like trash.

For example I was standing in line to buy some presents for my sister and her boyfriend while this person in front of me was being checked out. The store only had one open register so the line was quickly growing. Her son wanted to buy something and she asked me if I had a problem with it. I didn’t,but that was before I realized he was paying separately and needed a display item down off of a shelf and needed it to be packed. I was standing around for an additional 20mins at least. My patience was being tested and I was a little upset but I had brought it upon myself so I hadn’t said anything to her. Besides I was just going to be waiting around for my parents afterwards anyways. But this lady behind me decided loud huffs and snide comments were the way to get the line moving faster. I felt embarrassed to have such a person behind me and I dearly hoped that the lady didn’t think the words were coming from me. Thankfully the lady smiled at me and knew it wasnt coming from me. I don’t understand how people can be so rude around a holiday that is all about being nice and giving to those in need. It seems almost counter productive to do things like that. It times like those that I really wish there was a santa clause, a big lump of coal in her stocking would certainly set her straight for next year.

[Via http://abbeylane8.wordpress.com]

The Triple Crown May Be Missing A Leg This Year

In 1867 the first-ever Belmont Stakes was run, since then the third and longest leg of the Triple Crown of horse racing has been run through thick and thin; world wars, great depressions, the Carter administration, none of these were big enough to stop the race. That all might change this year. The NY Racing Association, who runs the Belmont, Aqueduct and Saratoga race tracks may not be able to open for the Spring-Summer season due to budgetary concerns.

“Anytime you face the possibility of not running the Belmont spring meet, and therefore the Belmont Stakes, it is a serious situation,” spokesman Dan Silver said Monday.

NYRA President Charles Hayward has reported previously that the Association is likely to run out of operating money in May or June.

One of the major stumbling blocks has been the delay in naming an operator for the slot machines at Aqueduct, which was approved in 2001 but has yet to be enacted.

Last year the NYRA received a state bailout of $30M to help stave off bankruptcy, but that money will be gone by spring meaning the Triple Crown may find itself a Double Crown for the first time.

[Courier-Journal]

[Via http://slanchreport.com]

ohmy.. I'm so random. :|

I think I’m losing my voice. I noticed that my throat gets soar after trying to sing 3 songs. I’m afraid I need to cut off on eating chocolates and cold drinks. I also need to eat more vegetables and fruits…. speaking of fruits, I’m already on a diet. right now, I’m eating a sandwich. It’s my favorite. Oh and yeah. My brother probably won’t give me gifts this christmas. He’s broke …and so am I. So I also won’t be giving him gifts this christmas. Maybe on his birthday I will. When I have enough money. oh and yeah I remembered that my friend’s birthday’s already near. I need to save.. again. And this time, I really WILL save. haha. Coz I’ve tried saving and guess what.. it didn’t work. anyway, what should I give him? suggestions? please? they will be highly appreciated

[Via http://theuncertain.wordpress.com]

10 Reasons Why I Blog (it's cursor time)

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note: just cleaning out some photos in preparation for other stupid photos to forget about in the New Year.

double note: did you hover the cursor over the pictures? … I knew you would.

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notes to myself #92

You will go places where others can’t follow … usually toilet stalls, photobooths, telephone boxes, and between your ears.

[Via http://planetross.wordpress.com]

Cosmic Fun in a little box

It is funny when you turn on your ally from the last few turns and destroy them.  Don’t worry you can blame it on the destiny card, that’s what I do.   Cosmic Encounters is a game you don’t want to stop playing.   Trust me, last night my friends and I played 5 times and enjoyed it every time.

The greatest thing is that this game changes each time you play it.  With each of the character’s unique powers and the addition of artifact cards, you are in a constant change of tactics that makes each turn new and exciting.

[Via http://musthaveboardgames.wordpress.com]

Boring AND thrilling!

I have really boring dreams.  It’s just who I am.  I rarely remember my dreams, and when I do, they’re like, “I counted my fingers and there were five!” (made up) or “I walked down the stairs in my dorm and then, when I got to the bottom, I woke up!” (not made up).  If I were to follow my dreams, I would end up in Boring, Oregon (an actual place!).

But in India, I had my first boring dream that was ALSO THRILLING.  It sounds impossible but that’s why I am here: to educate you.  So:

I DREAMED

That I dreamed I cut my fingernails, but then I woke up and I actually didn’t.

THEN I WOKE UP AND

I actually had cut my fingernails.

I have never before had a dream that made me simultaneously think “WOAH NELLY!  Am I in the Matrix?  Is reality a social construct?  OH MY GOD I need some sort of snack” and “This is so effing boring.  Fingernails.  I am dreaming about my own fingernails.”

It was groundbreaking.

[Via http://mae1023.wordpress.com]

SURPRISE!

(: Loadsa good things happened today!

Mummy miss my cooking.. so she requested spaghetti! (:
So I cooked a healthier version of spaghetti for her, plus my sister and sis-in-law and brother..
I also asked Lloyd over. HAHA! Firstly, he could pass me the camera, secondly, he can try my spaghetti! (: And so, he did came over..

After I got the camera, I tried the functions and Lloyd taught me how to change the iso and the shutter speed thingy. Hohoho… Hopefully I can take nice photos tomorrow.. (:

LAlalala~
We were waiting for time to pass and waiting for dardar to book out.
Today is the day, the surprise day!
I’m gonna present to him the “SURPRISE” that i was talking about. Hahaha..
And so.. Lloyd helped me to carry the PS3 slim to his house. ARIGATO LLOYD! (:
Well.. when we reached his block, I saw his car. And it was like “UH-oh!”. And then I panicked. Then I saw him driving away. HAHA! He was on his way to my house. HAHA! And so I let him drive away and made my way up to his house and prepare. At the same time, I called him and asked him to ge back home. LOLS.

He went to his room and saw a CUTE PINKIE POKIE DOTTY luggage on his bed. Haha.. He was like, “Wha! Simi lai eh?” Haha.. And I said.. “Orh.. ur surprise.. HAHAHAHAHA..” I asked him to open it. And he didnt dare to. HAHA! His eyes met mine and we kept laughing and he still don’t wanna open it. He finally unzipped the luggage, and still don’t wanna open it. His mum came into the room and wanted to open the luggage but he stopped her… After she left the room, he finally “found his courage” to open it. HahahAHA!
And he said, “CHEY…… ” hahahahahaha… because the PS3 was all wrapped up. He picked it up, still wondering what it is.. and then.. he peeked inside the wrapper and “AAAAAHHHHHHAHAHAHHAHAHHHHHHHHAHAHAH~”, screamed. HAHA!
He screamed and jumped and screamed and laughed. I almost could see tears in his eyes. Lols.. He ran to his brother’s room and slammed on the door so hard and shouted for his brother. Hahaha.. He pulled his brother into his room and show off his pressie. LOLS..
He is really happy. Hehee..

Dardar haven’t been so happy lately..
Probably because of the stress in his work, like test and trainings and all..
Finally, tomorrow he will pass out as an Officer. (: So proud of him..
Heheheee…

Love ya!! (:

Muacks!!

After that, he pulled me out of the house and we went for supper!
half way out, kaiwen smsed me.. asking us if we wanna have supper with them.. and so dardar went to pick them up and we all head to bedok 85 for our supper. Its been a long time since the brothers have supper together.. sit down, talk cock.. and eat ba chou mee, plus chicken wings plus carrot cake plus sugar cane. Hehee…
Miss those days…

Right after finishing my sugar cane, my cramp came back to me. Grrr..
Every step I took, I could feel somebody punching my stomach. HAHA! (Er.. ya.. normally thats how you would feel when you have cramps…)

Feeling like an old woman. =(

[Via http://twinsissy.wordpress.com]

The Weather

I can’t get excited by the weather in any way, shape or form.  I was oblivious to everything yesterday until I fired up Facebook and Twitter to see millions of “IT’S SNOWING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” type messages.

I’m surprised David Attenborough hasn’t yet put one of them sweeping cameras (the ones which are used to record and follow buffalo migration) in our office to capture the moment  something significant happens with the weather (significant can mean anything from it being sunny, drizzle, rain, hail, sleet or snow).  It only takes one person to shout “Look at the weather” and one of the natural wonders of the world will suddenly happen…a stampede to the windows.  Mouths gaping wide and squeals of “Oh my god, have you seen it”?  And that’s just the men.

Me: “Yes, it’s rain. It’s that wet stuff that falls from the sky” / “Yes, it’s that big yellow thing in the sky making it hot” / “Snow?  Yeh, I’ve seen it loads of times”.

Snow gets people excited for some reason; I can’t take to the stuff personally.  Maybe it’s because I once threw a snowball at an ex-girlfriend, but it turned out that she didn’t catch my drift (Wahey…I’m here all week).

Snow just means venturing outdoors becomes a dice with death.  I end up walking to the shop like an old man…taking dead small steps, as if I’m walking across a balancing beam, ensuring I don’t end up arse over tit.

Luckily enough though, for all the “IT’S SNOWING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” messages, even from people who live not far from me and in the same city, I looked out the window this morning and there was feck all snow.  Although, yet again, the news headlines this morning already make one nights snow fall turn into Armageddon like conditions.

It’s December, it gets cold, things will ice up and it’s probably going to snow.  Just get on with it.  If you don’t need to urgently travel anywhere, then don’t.  Why does it become headline news…every year?  I feel sorry for the people caught up behind a jack knifed lorries who were stuck in there cars overnight and things like that, but as a country that is prone to cold weather it’s embarrassing that we can’t cope with snow or ice.  Canadians/Americans who get proper snow drifts must piss themselves laughing that we grind to a halt with a couple of inches of snow.

In other news it’s my last day at work today until 4th Jan. Whoo Hoo.  Productivity today will be zilch.  Who’s brought the Battleships or Connect 4 in?

[Via http://cynicalscribble.wordpress.com]

Chronic Pain

Heard a noise outside and stirred.

Sunlight poured through cracked window shade.

mmmm  Morning.

“Thank you God” again for waking me in my “right mind”…I can move my limbs, my loved one is right beside me.

“Thank you Lord”.

I feel pain, dull aching pain in my left leg.

I have chronic pain from a groin injury 3 years ago.  Seems I had a bolus of testosterone in the gym one day, surprised my body with it’s own limitation.  Now pain is a constant uninvited companion. Everyday, every waking moment, I have pain. Sometimes it’s worse than others, but it hurts all the time.

I can mask the pain, make the symptoms go away temporarily, but always it returns  and sometimes with a vengeance.

As I worked today I began to think of all the people who suffer every day with pain. Some have pain in their bodies, arms, legs, trunks.  Some have pain in their minds; depression, paranoia, mood disorders.  Almost all of us have some degree of chronic pain in our hearts. Past hurts, unforgiveness, perhaps bitterness, maybe relationship challenges and failures. Miscellaneous residue we’ve chronically carried for years, but have hidden for so long, even we have forgotten it was there or how it got there. It’s masked, hidden, unapproachable and unseen.

I thought about God’s heart. I believe he hurts too. He hurts from us. From our inability to come away from the madness and sit with Him, even for a few moments.  His heart pain comes from our lack of desire for Him and his things; our choice of settling for mediocrity when we could have excellence from his hand.  I think God hurts from our feigned independence. I say feigned because when we really get “into the mess” then we call on him with all that’s in us in hope his forgiving nature is as strong as his forgetfulness of our past behavior.

Still, he hurts.

Chronically?  “Lord, how long will you put up with our shortsightedness, and self-indulgent ways?” Please forgive me for hurting you, if not intentionally, at least by putting my agenda ahead of yours. Please prick our hearts to feel your pain and respond to what hurts you. Help us be more sensitive to your leading Spirit. Help us to forgive more freely and love more completely and to dispel every falsehood established in the depth of our lives.

2Ch 7:14 If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.

Seeing Jesus more clearly

[Via http://breauxmann.wordpress.com]

"Phantom of the Opera" at the DPAC

This was my first trip to the Durham Performing Arts Center and my first-ever “Phantom” experience (I’d seen the movie) … and, in short, I was blown away.
There’s only a week left of “Phantom” left in Durham, and if you have the time and the desire to trek an hour north to go … go.
I won’t go into too many details except to say the performances are brilliant (particularly Tim Martin Gleason as the Phantom) … but what really steals the show is the set. That’s right, the set is awe-inspiring … the scene changes are flawless and impressive, and it’s all done on such a grand scale, you forget you’re sitting in a theater.
As for the D-PAC, this was my first trip there since it opened, and already, my wife and I can’t wait to go back (we’re in for “Wicked” in the spring).

TODAY’S LINKS
• Trailer for the new “Alice in Wonderland” film released
• Saints fans shoot up a Redskins’ fan’s TV (white trash warning)
• New ‘Lost’ promo (with Willie singing “Amazing Grace”)
• This guy has too much time on his hands (still kinda cool)

[Via http://billyliggett.wordpress.com]

Sleep is your enemy

It’s 4:30am IN THE MORNING.. (I loathethat Time Warner Cable commercial. “AM in the morning” .. Really.

Anyways. I should have been in bed hours ago. I’ll be getting up early in the morning..for no apparent reason *kick*.. and yet, I can’t seem to doze off. Perhaps it was that delicious coffee Cera made me. <3 ..Or the thought of hot guy from work. Or just that I feel sleep takes away the precious time I could have otherwise been productive. It's always right when I HAVE to sleep that I get that sudden burst of energy and that oh-so-awesome "I can do anything" feeling. Wtf, sleep? That's not fair. Not fair at all, I say.

Oh well. Shit happens.

Btw, it's snowing on my blog. The snow falls in the direction that your cursor is in relation to the center of the browser. Example: move mouse to the right, snow falls to the right. Move mouse to the left, snow falls to the left. *dies from excitement* Isn't that the coolest thing you've ever fucking seen? Because, I'm pretty sure it is. Way better than if it were snowing in your bedroom. ..That would pretty much such any way you look at it. Especially if you look up. And it falls on your eyeball. All cold and frosty. ..See? Told you. Now you're thinking about it. I bet your eye's starting to water, too.

..Sucker.

:]
Lenalenabobina

[Via http://lenalandmine.wordpress.com]

Faces In Places

I see faces.

(Not as dramatic as “dead people,” I apologize.)

I’ve always thought it was the immature part of me that zeroed in on this phenomenon, but maybe it’s my creative side instead.

There’s a commercial running right now, I can’t remember by what company, but it highlights faces found in inanimate objects.  It is my favorite.  Forget the dancing babies on the Dasani commercial, give me “faces” and I’m pleased as punch.  (Wow, that right there is a testament to the fact that I rarely watch live TV.)

Take the drain control for my bathtub as an example.  Two eyes, one engaging smirk and a nose that’s a bit odd.  (It looks forlorn when the “nose” is turned the other way, thus it’s pointed up to highlight it’s cheery disposition.)

I shall call him Bob, as I do all things that I deem to be masculine.  With such a jolly look on his face, you hardly notice that he lost an eye during the war.  Oh Bob, you’re an inspiration to us all.

See, creative, not immature.  At least that’s what my therapist tells me.  *wink*

[Via http://badwithconviction.wordpress.com]

Randomness at its finest

• I realized today that there are only 11 days until Christmas. Where is my life going??
• I really wanted egg nog this weekend but Publix didn’t have the small size; only half gallons.
• When I remember that the thing inside me is another little boy, I get extremely excited. Being a two boy mama is going to rock!
• Slow work week but so much still to do.
• I’m almost done addressing Christmas cards and I have got to get them out this week.
• This endless rainy, foggy, humid weather is sucking my will to live. And my Christmas spirit.
• The recap of my trip to the Florida state caverns will be up very soon.

[Via http://allstarme.wordpress.com]

Been.

23 April 2005.
On this very day, I penned down my first ever blog post.
Looking at the evolution of my writing,
from toking lyk dis, to “today i… then i…”, to how I blog now.

I’m actually quite amazed and amused by what I wrote in the past.
Some of them are like seriously hilarious. Can’t believe I actually blogged it.
Oh well. (:

[Via http://thelifeofahill.wordpress.com]

My first post -WTF- on some random shit

Alright I’m back to blogging my random shit. I’m new to wordpress though so…yup ;] I’m currently on the phone with my boyfriend now and I’m getting friggin hungry. Anyways this seems less complicated than Xanga its just a bunch of complicated shit on there seriously. Well…oh shit I just had deja vu ;p whatever chicken balls. I am Asian yes one of those slanted eyed people who looks like there sleeping, kinda like this -_- or ^_^ whatever you know what the hell I’m talking about hopefully this keeps some of my friends updated with me since they don’t have a twitter, well some of them do and they don’t stay on it. Who knows if they’ll like it. I really don’t like this whole barbie movement thing seriously really? calling yourself a plastic piece of shit and trying to look like it? c’mon ladies stop all that Nicki Minaj shit and just be yourself or have so many woman been overly influenced by celebs that they don’t even know who they are? Well thats my little rant today. ;] laters

Oh...FUC-

[Via http://brendavu.wordpress.com]

Trading in the abyss

Dear Diary,

I was talking to my friend about trading over supper. All along, I always have this notion that I will definitely be successful if I stop making stupid mistakes and hone my skills by practicing and practicing. I know that it is dangerous but I have always treated it like a business and often I manage my risk properly, although it is always the stupid LARGE errors that keep me in the red. I’ve always thought that if I learn from my mistakes and control my emotions I’ll be able to pay my tuition fees by the time I graduate. I’ve always thought of trading like that until my friend said, “Isn’t this what all gamblers say?”

I was momentarily taken aback. Is it true? I know trading is gambling in however small sense it may be. Most traders will never admit it. But will it be gambling when you can consistently make profits out of this? Its different from say, the lottery, where your odds of getting the first prize is 1 in XX million.

I really need to know how you guys think. Why am I so concerned with whether trading is gambling? I’m not sure. Until I reach the stage where I am able to take $ out consistently, I guess I will be brooding over this. But a more important and necessary question will be how to be profitable consistently.

Your Brooding Owner
12th December 2009

[Via http://yangchengrui.wordpress.com]

Dead men

I am a man – you are a man (or a woman) – we (all of us men) are all men – and those of us that are alive, are alive…

So why is it that so many of you place credence in the thoughts, the words and the deeds of dead men?

We all face the problem of how to organise ourselves socially in order to solve the other, innumerable problems that arise from our socialisation, but can’t we do that just using our minds – i.e. the minds of those that are alive?

I’m not saying there is no lesson to be learned from history – quite the opposite! The moral lessons of history have shown us what the end result is when we take fundamentals in the form of commandment, dogma or doctrine.

Let’s just use our minds and put the dead men to rest, finally.

[Via http://themendicantsociety.wordpress.com]

DEAD WEEK fall 2009

I have three written finals, one take-home (basically the answers were already given to us) final, and one final that’s just a screening of my AP in Folino.  So I only have three that I need to study for.  One of those three is something I can’t really study for, it’s basically I show up to class, professor screens a feature film, and then we write an analysis based on the things we learned this semester about elements of a feature film.  So REALLY I only have two finals to study for.  And both of them happen to be the classes I skipped most this semester, or if I showed up I didn’t pay attention.  I’m a daydreamer, I can’t help it.  Adderall can help it.  I can’t.  And I refuse to sink to the adderall level as a person who doesn’t actually have A.D.D.

So. Woke up this morning and found that our house had been vandalized, by a friend.  A friend who didn’t realize we live in a duplex, so most of the damage was done to the other side of the house…the side we don’t inhabit, the side that a group of Chapman seniors live in…that was a little frustrating, but the prank itself was hilarious.  My roommate had stolen their basil plant and is holding it hostage until they buy her oreos…so what they did was TP the house and then twisted off halves of Oreos and stuck them to the garage door (our neighbors’ garage door) in the form of the word “basil” and then put oreos all over their cars (thinking the cars were ours).  So it was hilarious, but in context it was not hilarious.  I called the pranksters and told them to clean it up and apologize to our neighbors and give them money for car washes otherwise if our neighbors called the police, I would be more than willing to tell them I knew who did it.  Job well done before the clock even struck 8am I’d say!

In the middle of studying this afternoon, I was going through my notebook…filled with notes and stumbled upon this surprise!

quelle surprise! little things like this are the best things.

Apparently Catie got into my notebook…I’m guessing on Tuesday night when I was over at Ne Ne and Catie’s house and wrote a little greeting.

NOW…BACK TO STUDYING SOME EASTERN PHILOSOPHY AND ALTERNATIVE/COMPLEMENTARY MEDICINE.

[Via http://jocelynrc.wordpress.com]

Conscious Creation Holiday Sale!

Anisa Aven seamlessly integrates the Law of Attraction, eft, goal setting, visualizing, and spirituality all into one. It’s the best of all world’s! Some of her programs are specific (attract-a-mate, fit and fabulous, etc.), but some of her programs are more generalized to working on figuring out what you want and manifesting that. I’ll be doing her Power Creators Club this next coming year. I’m excited to have someone help me focus and define my dreams and desires.

To take advantage of her sale just click here or on the banner above or below.

[Via http://skincareandmakeup.wordpress.com]

You see it ...

OM NOM NOM NOM FOOD GOOD NOM NOM NOM

And aren’t we just a bunch of lucky little bastards because we can catch that hot piece of Aikidotastic deep-fried yuck over on A&E shakin’ his sweaty nightstick on the latest createdreality series: ‘Steven Seagal LAWMAN‘?!

Oh yeah … I’m sure it’s 100% meh …

[Via http://lifeisacookie.wordpress.com]

Dear Mr. McSnuffles: I Win

As I have historically demonstrated, there is nothing I relish in more than a public flame war on the Internet. So to make sure that the mini-flame war I am currently engaged in is publicly recognized, and because I love escalation, I am posting the comments from one “Mr. McSnuffles” (a pseudonym I assume was an attempt at anonymity, despite the fact that Ned Hinman put his actual email address) on my last post here, with more developed responses than I had original offered. I welcome his rebuttals. Just one note: he drew first blood when he called me an asshole and a douche, so I am allowed to call him stupid.

I knew from the moment Mr. Hinman said “of the opposing team” above that he had entirely misinterpreted my post; its primary focus, as is clear from reading it, has little to do with Macintosh computers or computers in general, but of the assholery of a particular student. The fact that computers are mentioned at all is simply a consequence of the nature of the story. Furthermore, when he says “the size of vga ports are not a big deal,” he demonstrates that he has absolutely no idea what he or I was talking about. Who said anything about the size of VGA ports or them being a big deal? Essentially what I am asking is: what? As far for me not knowing a lot about Apple Computers, I actually know a decent amount about them, at least more than the average computer user. Furthermore, as I have previously mentioned, I have a great deal of respect for them, despite some criticism I have of the company and some of their products and practices. In regards to my hatred of Macs (which is purely hyperbolic and essentially non-existing, but whatever) simply being based on rebelling against the mainstream without an practical reasons, wow, you’re a fucking idiot. First of all, PCs dominate the market overwhelmingly, so you tell me what is popular. Secondly, my decision to own a PC is based around numerous practical reasons, the main one being I PREFER THE WINDOWS OPERATING SYSTEM. I apologize is this is so unbelieveable to someone of your high intellect, but its possible, and frankly, the position of a great many people. Are there things I like about OSX? Of course – it has some amazing features, far better animation, its (generally) a tiny bit quicker, and some great applications exclusive to it. However, for me, the user experience of Windows 7 is preferable (based on functionality and GUI). Of course I haven’t even tackled price. To purchase a computer with the specs of mine from Apple (which I actually can’t do being as MBPs don’t yet have blu-ray burners or 1920X1200 panels on fifteen inchers) would have cost me hundreds more than did my Dell XPS M1530, with which I am extremely pleased. Additionally, this post specifically has to do with a netbook, something Apple does not yet, and probably will not, offer. However, I will admit that OSX offers me one ability that my PC does not: the ability to use Final Cut Pro. Because that editing suite is quickly growing as an industry standard, I will likely buy an MBP in the next two years. However, that machine will dual boot with Win7, I assure.

You continue, Mr. Hinman, to prove your utter ignorance in your declaration that Microsoft indisputably does everything it possibly can to mimic Mac (and furthermore parenthetically declare that it does so poorly). The computer business, especially the business of operating systems, is largely based on competition, innovation, and continuing improvements. Microsoft and Apple have a rich history of competition in which they have both stolen an equal amount of ideas from each other, always improving on each other’s innovations. Additionally, Apple is not as innovative a company as many people believe, though they have made considerable contributions to the continuing progress of computer technology and have certainly revolutionized the cell phone market (by combining existing technology into a single device).

It amazed me that you realized that my argument about Mac’s has little to do with my story and yet still failed to realize that they are irrelevant to my post. Additionally, you site my argument as being “mac’s suck because douches like this guy use them,” but nowhere do I say anything even remotely close to that. I say Macs suck because they use the DisplayPort in a world of VGA, DVI, and HDMI (however, my friend Ian posted some interesting perspectives on that). You do clarify, after that statement, that my argument includes “funny ports.” You then question “really?” and in response I say: No. My argument against the DisplayPort is valid, but that has little to do with why I use a PC. Onto the next!

[My response to his first comment provides important context to his second: "you’re probably the stupidest person that has ever commented on my blog. this post almost has nothing to do with macs, beyond sarcastic, hyperbolic criticisms. secretly, I love Apple, and can’t wait to own a MBP when I have the money. wuddan idiot. i’m sorry you wasted your time."

First of all, using the word quantitative isn't going to trick me into thinking you're smart, but nice try. And not, not nothing to do with Macs. In fact I explicitly did not say that, because that would be a false thing. What I did, however, say was "almost" nothing to do with Macs, a statement which you yourself admitted to believing when you said "the quantitative {

Now sure, sarcasm is based [somewhat] in vocal inflections and context, though it can exist independently of either. But for the sake of argument, I will concede that point for now. Your argument is that I provide no context for my sarcasm or my “secret love of macs.” You ask: “Did I miss some important context [...]?” and argue that the Internet (which you forgot to capitalize, asshole [I say this not because I am a capitalization Nazi, but because I believe the Internet is worthy of the capital. If God gets his pronouns capitalized, then the Internet should always be capitalized. As a matter of fact, I did this even before I knew I was supposed to]) doesn’t know me. Well to address both: yes, you did miss some important context and actually, the Internet does know me. What context did you miss and how does the Internet know me: the 151 posts on my blog that preceded the one on which you commented. Now did I expect you to read them all? No, but if you’re going to come on here and call me an asshole and accuse me of essentially not knowing what I am talking about, you’d think you’d use the search function on my blog to find out if I have written about Macs before. had you done that, you would have found this post, which obliterates your point of context and demonstrates my respect for the individuals responsible for Apple and that I don’t actually think they’re dickbags.

One final argument, and I’ll set this one out in numerical form:

1. You are dumb.
2. Dumb people are idiots.
3. You are an idiot.

I begged the fuck out of the question, what of it?

The ball is in your court. Good luck.

[Via http://freshmandenial.wordpress.com]

She Said it Best

You know when you’ve got a lot going on in your head, you’re having trouble expressing it, and you happen upon someone else with the perfect words for your situation?  Whether’s it’s the perfect, anonymous quote, a snippet off a TV show, or a close friend, sometimes finding those “right” words, even if they’re not your own, makes the world fall into place just a little.

This happened to me this week.  See, change is in the air.  I’m not yet 100% sure what it will be or where I will go, but my life is redirecting.  I’m super excited and in a big hurry for things to HAPPEN already.  I’m like that–impatient and all. 

A good friend of mine said it best here.  I swear, I read her post and thought it was written about me.  She totally, completely, in a nutshell described me to a T.  I love it.  Plus, it’s nice to know that I’m not the only person with this crazy obsession with fast forwarding life.

[Via http://alvernah.wordpress.com]

Domestic chatter

Right now, I have no work outside the home and while I would like to say I need the rest, I find the inactivity enervating in the extreme. It makes it hard to get on with the tasks I need to get done; I can take all day over something that really only needs half an hour.

Today I need to take my daughter into town for an optician’s appointment. We’ve been lucky to find a specialist in our little town who does colourimetry. This is quite difficult to define but basically it’s about finding a colour lense that makes your eyes work at their best. It’s used to help dyslexia and in all honesty, it has made a huge difference to my daughter since she got her first pair of coloured lenses about 9 years ago. Obviously it has caught on since then because when we last tried to find a local specialist, we failed and had to go with our original one. Now, since it’s been so long since her first colourimetry assessment, and she needs an eye test anyway, I was very relieved to find one in town. The trouble is that my driving phobia means we’re taking the bus.

Other things I have managed to do today: remember to pick up the dog’s medication, and put a load of laundry through the machine. That’s more or less it unless you include getting up and having breakfast. I’ve promised my daughter we’ll have a bit of lunch in town too, so if we get into town way too early we have something to focus on and she can sit down and recharge her batteries till we need to walk the rest of the way.

Tomorrow I am planning on going to Norwich, our nearest city, to do some Christmas shopping. Again, the driving phobia means I’ll be taking the train after a three mile walk to the station. The car will just be sitting outside the house. I’ve not even driven this car yet. I must try to get to grips with this phobia.

I don’t like Christmas much. I’m not sure why. Maybe it’s to do with my inability to feel happy things or maybe it’s just I am a Scrooge and react with “Bah Humbug!” to the whole season. For most of her childhood, my daughter had to wait till her father got home from taking Christmas morning services before she could open her presents. Now he’s no longer a serving clergyman, we’ve gone to my parents for Christmas and again, the schedule is someone elses. This year we’re at home; my mother broke her shoulder a week ago and my father agreed it was best if we stay home. This is the fourth Christmas in this house; the first, I was still so much in shock from the move, I didn’t put up so much as a sprig of holly or a garland of tinsel. This year I’d like to make it a good one but in all honesty, Christmas means very little to me. We’re not members of any church any more, and we all baulk at the commercial side of it. I’ve sometimes suggested we do a stint at a night shelter or something instead but no one feels like that. So we sit in limbo.

I think after I’ve got the presents bought and sent away, I may be able to think a bit more about the whole festive thing a bit more. I’ve got a headache started just thinking about it.

Bah, humbug!

[Via http://zenandtheartoftightropewalking.wordpress.com]

Sunday Photo Essay~unglamorous Christmas

[Via http://sweetiegirlz.wordpress.com]

The Emotional World of Farm Animals

This is probably one of the best documentaries I have seen about the lives and emotions of farm animals.  It sheds a whole new light on the sentience of these animals.  It’s a bit long but well worth watching.  I hope you take the time to watch.  They are far more emotionally complex than we have ever given them credit.

more about “The Emotional World of Farm Animals“, posted with vodpod

[Via http://hodgepodgeblog4tishrei.wordpress.com]

*Um, Excuse Me, I Just Need a Moment...*

…as I recover from this:

*thud*

EV had a post in tribute of those who could encompass being “hot, pretty, and cute” all at once.  For guys, I’d say, “hot, cute, and handsome” as a translation.  Naturally, Jensen Ackles would have to be number 1 on my list. (I hear @sigh’s droll “surprise, surprise.” in the back of my head.) 

EV would agree with me on #2: Jude Law

 

@Sigh, how about #3: Ryan Reynolds

As for #4, my mom would probably be my staunchest supporter: Hugh Jackman

(Hugh almost didn’t make the list because of the “cute” factor…but I figure his boyish smile as seen in the Oscars redeemed him.)

Um…okay, so I might need another moment.  Sigh.

So much better than finals, isn’t it?

You’re welcome.

[Via http://dazeddizzy.wordpress.com]

Thursday night of full moon

[Via http://offshoot2.wordpress.com]