… no word of a lie.
... Bert the Duck ...
Since early 2003 I have had a duck on a skateboard. Not a real duck you understand; that would be cruel as the only way I can think of to make it stay there would be to employ some kind of Monty Python style “nails through the feet” kind of tactic. No, of course I am referring to a plastic duck sat on a miniature skateboard.
The story of how this bedroom feature came to be requires me to don a Grampa Simpson style voice and to settle back in my chair. During my first year of university I was then a lowly Media Production student toying with the potential of my creativity (it didn’t get me very far). Fine fine summers morning we were presented with the task of creating a short film. Peter Andre had just re-realised “Mysterious Girl” and the radio stations could not get enough of it, driving everyone on campus insane (apart from those few girls that never left their teeny-bopper phase). Long story short, the media has always been a medium for people to complain about things they do not like. I do not like, approve or in any way condone Peter Andre (and do not get me started on Katie Price / Jordan / ugly big tits, knows how to control the media face), therefore the logical choice in my drink destroyed 18-year-old mind was to create a short film where I am driven insane by “Mysterious Girl”, predict the future and subsequently get killed but a duck. Enter Bert, a £3.99 (worth every penny) plastic mallard duck from Wilkinson’s who stared on location in Nottingham in a Western style showdown with myself… unfortunately I lost. The film was made and Bert was supplied with all the fake bread he could eat.I had grown attached and I couldn’t possibly throw Bert away, he had a name, he had earned me a rather respectable 2:1 on my project, he had to stay. I set him up in my room on the floor and through nothing much of it for the following two months.
I then acquired a miniature skateboard. The events around this story you will be glad to hear have been completely forgotten due to extreme alcohol abuse, but I awake one hazy, hung over morning to discover Bert perched upon it. I can only assume that in my drunken state I believed a duck on a skateboard would be one of the best things imaginable… after all I still think that now! It’s either that or Bert somehow came alive during the night and placed himself on it… which to be honest is a bit of a scary thought for anyone who has seen Mannequin (1987).
N.B. Steps altered and events embellished to the story more amusing.
So imagine my surprise when, six and a half years later, I glance down at Bert, smile and Google the two words: “duck skateboard” to find several entries referring to one Herbie the Skateboarding Duck:
... Herbie the Skateboarding Duck ...
Herbie has unfortunately passed on, but it would seem that due to an appearance on the BBC’s “Nationwide” programme in 1978, Herbie has a bit of a cult following, his program being aired again and again on various channels across the globe and even could be attributed to creating the “lighter side of the news” segments that we see parodied so often. Here’s to you Herbie.
Addition reading regarding Herbie can be found here, here, here and here and also by Googling Herbie the skateboarding Duck.
My Google searches also turned up this little gem who as far as I am aware, had no name… but he / she will be referenced non-the-less:
... fit that in your bath ...
So, after years of Bert’s companionship, it finally transpires that he has company in the duck skateboarding community and that productions teams in the media rarely do their research until it’s too late.
No comments:
Post a Comment