I saw this poem online, and I thought to myself, “Eh.. Isn’t this what I said before?” Anyway.. its really anti-social, and sometimes
I feel this way.. You know, I think that I am better off left alone.
Cause I don’t need friends by G. Rynk
No friends,
I don’t want none.
No friends,
I don’t need none.
Friends are fake,
They are not real.
I do not need people
Who say they are my friends,
‘Cause they ain’t real.
If you wanna
Be my friend
You better just
Forget about it now.
All my life
I got along
Without any friends.
So don’t SCREW with me.
Just leave me alone.
If you talk to me
I’ll punch you in the face.
Just leave me alone
‘Cause I don’t need friends.
tomorrow, i will be making my first purchase of the new decade. having not had a proper phone, for what could possibly the duration of my life; struggling through the nokia 3310, n-gage and now my vulnerable 5230 – i have decided to take a stand. with a bunch of savings i have made – tomorrow i will journey outside my nokia comfort zone and enter, the blackberry world.
I feel I am happy (at the moment anyways) , but the 2010 resolutions I’ve written below will probably make me happier in the new year, I will update you on what I am working on. Enjoy!
* * * * *
- Dance More
- Come up with (and stick to) a new exercise regime
- Read more books from the library
- Save at least $3000 before 2010 fall term
- Get my ING account authorized
- Help out more => friends and family issues
- Dabble in different music genres more often
- Listen to music more often (it seems impossible, but now with my new ipod shuffle i can do this)
- Learn beginner level french
- Drink more tea
- Volunteer at least once a month
- Create a realistic budget and stick to it
- Set aside money for 2 “shopping sprees” the year (possibly a $300-$400 spree?)
- Go vegetarian for 1 month (with someone else who is willing to join me)
- Get organized
- Have less arguments and speak my mind truthfully but not harshly
- Have a garage sale (mostly to get rid of the mountains of clothes my mom and I have)
*Listening to Death Cab For Cutie – Transatlanticism*
What a horrible, horrible mistake. It was entirely avoidable too. There really was no need for it, handing over a list would have sufficed and I could have enjoyed a stress-free environment watching Swanny and Broad rip into a startled South African batting line-up. But no. I accepted the invitation to go into Norwich and go shopping.
All I needed was a memory card and some rechargeable batteries, but it wasn’t until four hours, a bird-shit stain and a giant snail later (the sister needed it for her school pupils) could I sit down to watch what was barely left of Day Four. A day that effectively won the test. Excellent.
What a stupid decision.
One of the numerous things I pondered whilst walking amongst the geriatric-paced crowds, other than people stop without warning at least three times every four steps, was why there are so many people feeling the need to spend the money they don’t have on things they didn’t need two weeks ago. But since it’s now 5% off, it’s as needed as under-soil heating at The Bescot. The answer escaped, taking with it my patience.
As did the answer to why everybody under the age of about 15 has to look identical. Sure, there are some exceptions, actually nope, there isn’t, merely a few different groups whose members all look the same. Much like the Christmas Day Doctor Who, in fact. Yep I watched it, not by choice mind but it has come in handy.
I also found myself wanting to escape HMV for probably the first time in my existence. Sure you can question the prices, especially when an album from three years ago is more expensive than anything that’s remotely recent, but I’m a sucker for their 2 for £10 CD’s. Remember? I still buy CD’s? But the thing that forced my hurried exit, was the scores of idiots who stand in the middle of the aisle as they look at no CD in particular. Space is scarce at the best of times but this time of year it’s more sought after than a fiver or two at Fratton Park.
Maybe there should be a rota controlling when certainly people can go out. People in a rush are allowed out the same time as people who don’t find the concept of walking so taxing they can’t manage without a break and people who know what they need and exactly where it is. And then Children go at the same time as the people just out for a wander around town and those on a general shop.
Maybe keep the second group in pens so us normals can walk by, tutting past in our orderly-kept space.
I was pretty tempted to echo that old thing about, “You know how to whistle, dont you? You just pucker up and….” but I thought better of it. The subject is a lot more complicated than that.
I’ve read and heard an awful lot about writing and especially how to write and I figured it was time to add my pennyworth. Anything said here is purely my opinion and I offer no facts and figures and statistics. It also needs to be said that I have as much right(or as little) as anyone to offer my opinion on this subject.
I’ve heard a lot about shoulds and gifts and discipline and planning and intuition and inspiration. I’ve heard that if you consider yourself a writer you should write every day even if you don’t want to. I’ve heard that you should plan every detail of your plot before you ever pen the opening lines. I’ve heard that you must honour your gift. I’ve heard of people who determine how many words they produce every day and those who write as much or as little as they feel is right. You can compare and contrast Anthony Trollope who wrote exactly a thousand words every day before his work as a postmaster began with William Golding, whose masterpiece Lord of the Flies was written in a frenzy of creativity in a space of about three days.
Let me say now: THERE IS NO RIGHT OR WRONG WAY.
THERE IS NO RIGHT OR WRONG WAY.
Got it?
There are as many ways and methods of writing as there are writers. We are each unique. In the course of a writing lifetime, you may try out many ways and be trying new methods till the day you die, or you may try a few, settle on what feels best and stick with it. I’ve tried a lot of things over my long writing career so far and I know that what works best for me can and will change. I generally write fiction in the third person but I have written one novel and a number of short stories in the first. I do write almost every day, but there are days when all I write are a few emails, and maybe a shopping list. I know that if I make a rule for myself (a thousand words a day, two poems before breakfast..) I will almost immediately sabotage myself and find it impossible to do. It’s the same reason why the only exercise routines that have ever worked for me require me to not make it a matter of rule and why having a dog is the only reason I get fresh air almost every day in winter….
We are complex beings and when it comes to writing, there are no rules. Oh, and if you worry about grammar and spelling, don’t. Your grammar is probably better by far that you imagine; just because you can’t name tenses or tell me what a parenthesis is doesn’t mean you don’t have grammar. You grew up learning grammar as naturally as breathing. If your spelling is rubbish, invest in a good spellchecker or get a friend to look it over. Grammar and spelling are the bricks and mortar of writing and not, to be honest, terribly interesting in themselves or even very useful in writing well. If it really worries you, do a course in English language or buy a few books on grammar so you can check your grammar if you have uncertainties.
To write well is a nebulous thing that is almost impossible to quantify but good writing is often unobtrusive writing. You notice the story and not the elegance of the sentence construction or the choice of adjectives. Like the cut of a good suit, it should draw attention to the body inside it and not the outward appearance that clothes it.
I’m not a fan of experimental writing, because it does seem to be drawing attention to itself and not what it is trying to express. It can be terribly clever but it’s not something I want to read because I read generally for the story. Story is the animal that drives fiction. In simple terms, to write fiction you have to have something to say, and that something is a story. Even if your purpose is ideological (Animal Farm anyone?) the story is the meat of the thing. If you have nothing to say, then say nothing, or wait until you have something to say.
I’m also not a fan of creative writing courses. This is partly an irrational dislike that is linked to my resistance to rules but it’s more than that. I do wonder how many naturally talented people have had their talent warped or crushed by such courses. I’ve heard a few accounts of courses that made me shudder, ones led by people with huge egos and a massive need to put others down. Such people want to make people write like them or the favourite writer of the moment; the students are asked to write in the style of X, Y or Z and are marked on that. For me, a course needs to help people find their own style, by trial and error and not by mimicking others. Of course, one does this to some extent, especially as a teenager, but ultimately every writer needs to find their own voice. So many of the courses seem to do just the opposite. In addition to this, I don’t believe you can teach anyone to write who lacks the basic talents. There are plenty of people who like the thought of being a writer but have no heartfelt understanding of what this actually means; for those, it means maybe playing with words in an entertaining way.
Write your way, whatever that is. If that means blank verse only or haikus, or short stories or whatever, fine. If you write best at night, don’t listen to anyone who tells you that the best writing is done in the morning when the day is fresh. If it helps you to have a daily goal of so many words, great, stick with it. If you can only write on a Sunday, then write on a Sunday. If you can’t plan but you can splurge and write ten thousand words at a go and then work out where you go from there, then do that. If you can only begin when you’ve got every freckle and line on your heroine’s face mapped out in triplicate, then go for it.
You are you and I am I. What works for me may not work for you and vice versa. By all means try other things; it’s good for you to experiment and explore but above all, be true to yourself and listen to your own inner voice. If that voice tells you that you can write a novel when you’ve only ever written short stories, listen to it.
Be the writer you want to be and not what other people tell you you should be. Just as your DNA is unique, so too is your writing voice.
(background music : Brick By Boring Brick by Paramore, Tik Tok by Kei$ha, If It Kills Me by Jason Mraz, Until You’re Mine by Demi Lovato and Crazier by Taylor Swift)
It’s raining heavily outside right now. I’m sitting in the dark, on a couch, infront of TV and trying to write something. But no idea. Until now, what I did was typed two or three sentences, read them, and pressed ‘backspace’ button until those two or three sentences disappeared. I repeated that few times already. I’m really in the mood of blogging, but sadly, I don’t know what to write. So, this entry is going to be quite rubbish. I’m just gonna write about whatever that will cross my mind. Keep reading if you want, but if you dont, please click on the ‘x’ at your top-left. Hehe .
I miss my man. That’s the first thing that I thought just now. I’m texting him right now actually. He’s watching National Geography bout some endangered animals and how to take care of them. Ehh.. Is that right? Erm.. Yeah, I think that is the subject. He’s on his way to diet right now. Well, yeah, he’s been trying to slim down since last few months. He succeed for a while, but then when I was off of that subject for few weeks, he gained more kgs. Haiya.. But now, I think my job is getting easier especially when his mom is forcing him to slim down. From what he told me, he said that his mom was angry because he didn’t take care of his shape. This is the funniest part. Her mom said, ‘Kena la kurus, bini ko kurus. Kalau x nak kurus, nnti Emy lari. Baru tau.’ .
Hahahaha. Takde la sampai mcm tu makcik.. I wont leave him, that I can promise. Saya sayang anak makcik sgt2!!! .
Owh, while we are in this topic, I just wanna write something that I’ve been keeping down here in my heart, for quite some time. This slimming down thing, this is what HE wants. Many times, I got asked by certain people, ‘Kalau die x kurus, ko sayang die lgi x?’ To be honest, I totally hate that question. SUPER HATE! Whether they intended or not, it offended me a little. It was like, ‘Do you think I’m that shallow??’, ‘Do you think I dont have a brain on my own that I can’t think properly of what I’m doing?’ That love subject, IT’S SOOO OUT OF QUESTION! Of course I love him no matter what. In fact, I love him so much! But here, be realistic, don’t you want the best for your partner?? I do. This is what HE wants. And I’m helping him. Coz he once told me, if he gets what he targets, he’ll be happy. I want him to be happy. THAT’s what I’m doing. .
And another thing, I want us to grow old together and stay healthy. So I start to advice him about what should he eat more, and what should he eat less while he’s still young. I don’t think it’s a crime by asking your beloved to live healthier, is it? I’m doing what’s best for us, for our future life, not for my own sake. Kalau org lain tu, lantak diorg la nk camane.. I don’t care. Even if I do, I don’t have any rights to interfere. Tpi yang ni, si dier yang suh aku jadi dier punyer diatition. So.. Aku mang kena kisah. But ‘kisah’ means concern. Concern means care. And care means love… Apa2 pon, it’s all because of love.. .
Change topic! .
Tomorrow, I’m gonna call JPN-S for the details about my posting. Hm.. Most of my friends said that I’m lucky that I got my own state. Yeah, I think so too especially after I didn’t put Selangor as my 1st choice, and I didn’t have ‘big cable’ to help me getting my own state. Yet, I still get it. Alhamdulillah.. That, I was a bit relieved. But still, as I said earlier, Selangor itself is a big state. I could be posted to anywhere, far from home. I hope, I would be posted to one of the schools in Sabak. I’ve been away from home since I was 13. Staying in school hostel for 5 years, then had BTN for 3 months, then studied in KL for 3 years before flying off to Australia for 2 years, then came back to KL for the final year. I think I’m independent enough. Well, scratch that. I mean, not THAT independent, but what I mean here, I know now how to take care of myself. It’s time for me to stay home now, taking care of my parents before I get married and move to somewhere else with my husband. .
I really-really hope that I’ll be posted to Sabak. But if that doesn’t happen, what can I do?
Allah knows the best.
Prepare for the worst, hope for the best.
p/s – Dalam tatau nk tulis ape tu, byk pulak aku tulis.. Haha
It is the fact that every single day the sky is different. Have you ever just stared into the sky- it is beautiful isn’t it?
Big puffy white clouds, long streaky sideways clouds, light blue, dark blue, even a hint of purple- anything goes. There is something peaceful about cloud watching. Everyday whether it’s my 30 minute drive to work or just a quick walk outside, I always tell myself to look UP! Just take a second maybe more (pause) and look UP! I’m just in awe. And I think you will be too.
I guess it just reminds me again and again to live in the moment. Everything is ever-changing and if I don’t see that sky today- I won’t ever see it because it will be different tomorrow. I think that’s why I like taking photos. Someone can take a picture of the same thing over and over again, but that photo will always be different because of the sky.
i can do this)
What a horrible, horrible mistake. It was entirely avoidable too. There really was no need for it, handing over a list would have sufficed and I could have enjoyed a stress-free environment watching Swanny and Broad rip into a startled South African batting line-up. But no. I accepted the invitation to go into Norwich and go shopping.
